


Brilliance

by theagetoforget



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, But there will be much happiness, Canon typical anxiety, Color, M/M, Mostly still set in the canon universe, but there's lots of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theagetoforget/pseuds/theagetoforget
Summary: Soulmates are made to complete each other, and in this case they create a world of radiant color for each other when they touch.Or: Yuuri Katsuki lives in a world of darkness, but Victor Nikiforov just happens to be his light.





	1. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes before you get started:
> 
> So half of this chapter serves as more of an introduction into the world and the other half is a sort or prequel to the actual story we know. After this chapter I plan on writing some bits of the story we don't get to see in canon, but also some parts we do. It will stay in the format of the second half.
> 
> Anyway, thank you guys! I hope you enjoy!

Yuuri was often told that he was fortunate.

“You have such a wide range of color!” his older sister Mari exclaimed when his vision test came back. 

A range of all varying colors, missing the lighter shades of all. 

Mari herself could only see along the spectrum to cover shades of yellows, oranges and reds. Yuuri’s mother saw a much wider spectrum, missing only shades of blue, while his father was less fortunate and was left with those blues his mother was missing. The two held hands as much as possible, as most soulmates did once they found their compliments, sharing the experience of a full range of brilliant color. Once soulmates found each other and bonded, the world usually was in dulled color, but it was always enhanced when they were in contact. 

Many people didn’t marry their soulmates though, in fact most didn’t even find theirs. Color sharing worked even with those who aren’t your soulmate, and sometimes the missing sliver of color was so small between two lovers they found themselves not caring if they found their designated “other half”. Some even married those who saw colors similar to theirs, finding solace in their shared experiences. It was rare to find soulmates together anymore.

As Yuuri aged, he began losing any hope of finding his. It didn’t help that his world was shaded. It was hard to look on the world positively when all he could see was the dark in it.

On the other hand, his friend Yuuko was ever the optimistic. She was bouncy and bright even though her range only included yellows and greens, and she was always the one who pulled Yuuri out of his slump. Her interest in figure skating transferred onto him and it became his life, especially when she introduced him to the wonder that was Victor Nikiforov. 

Yuuri was 12 when he watched his first Victor Nikiforov program. Victor was 16 and about to win gold in the Junior Grand Prix Final.

Victor was beautiful. He seemed to shine even through Yuuri’s dark veil, his every movement brought Yuuri further into a trance. It was far from surprising to hear that Victor was the best of the best, a glimmering, rising star in figure skating, watched with awe by fans worldwide. Yuuri burned the image into his mind, wanting to remember this feeling of brightness for the rest of his life.

And as Yuuri held onto this image, he found himself modeling his life around the new light in his life. He was more than just a fan, and he remained an avid follower of Victor throughout his life, even getting a poodle and naming it after him. Yuuri had found a new purpose. He was going to meet Victor Nikiforov on ice as an equal and show him his brilliance.

Yuuko supported him throughout this endeavor. She was more than willing to spend her time listening to him wax poetic about the skater, and the two of them spent hours watching his programs on repeat and skating them to the best of their ability. 

Eventually though, Yuuko became occupied by her soulmate, who she had discovered to be one of their childhood friends. She was still there for Yuuri, but more often than not her soulmate had taken residence at her side. Now she would pause in their rants on the beauty of Victor Nikiforov to try and explain the feeling of full color sight to Yuuri. He tried to remain involved as she clumsily described the indescribable, but these rants reminded him how alone he was in his little pit of darkness. He took up wearing gloves to avoid as much casual touch as he could, hating the look of pity he received every time someone realized how dark his spectrum was.

No matter what he did, he was out of place.

Skating was his comfort. When he fell into a depression he spent days locked either into his ballet teacher's studio or the Ice Castle, practicing until he could no longer feel anything, even the aching depression and burning anxiety. 

But because of this, Yuuri began to grow into a competent skater, and he found hope that he might one day reach the podium to stand at Victor’s side. He participated in competitions and started winning. At age 19 he packed up his life and moved to Detroit to skate under a coach.

There he met Phichit, a boy even brighter and bubblier than Yuuko had been. He struck up a friendship with Yuuri immediately, as he was the type that pestered someone into liking him. Yuuri had found someone new to support him, someone who also loved to rave about figure skating, even if he wasn’t as devoted to Victor as Yuuri was. His spectrum was surprisingly dark for his attitude, spanning blues to bright reds, but this created a kinship that Yuuri had with no one else. He felt like he could finally explain his darkness and have it understood. Phichit took this in stride and worked to help Yuuri understand that the world wasn’t always as he saw it. 

“Yuuri,” Phichit said one day, his voice traveling down to Yuuri on the bunk below. “Your darks allow you to see exactly where the light in the world is. You’re not pitiful. I envy you.” The two soon became inseparable. 

They trained endlessly, both working to get to the point all skaters worked towards. The Grand Prix Final. 

And finally the year came where Yuuri made it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phichit pulled him into a tight hug, carefully avoiding any bare skin. Yuuri always appreciated the way Phichit had immediately respected his decision to avoid color sharing. 

“You’re going to do amazing,” he said reassuringly before pulling away. 

Yuuri responded with a small smile, the best he could do when he felt like he was dying inside as his anxiety ripped at him. He stood quietly, staring at Phichit and wishing he could bring his best friend along with him.

“Yuuri!” Coach Celestino called from the gate to board their airplane. “Come on!”

Yuuri leaned down and yanked up the handle to his suitcase, before offering another small smile to Phichit as he began to walk towards his coach. He wished he knew what to say, or that he had something, anything to say at all. Really he was just fighting the urge to cry in front of the whole airport. He reached Celestino’s side, and handed his ticket over to the gate agent, barely listening as she instructed them on where to sit. Celestino began to lead them away, his hand resting on Yuuri’s shoulder in a gesture of comfort as well as to keep him moving.

“I believe in you, Yuuri!”

~~~

Celestino lead Yuuri up to his hotel room, even opening the door for him before he paused and wished him goodnight. Yuuri watched him disappear into his room a little ways down the hall before he entered his own and pushed the door shut behind him. He settled on the edge of his bed and took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down before he tried to sleep.

He had finally made it. Katsuki Yuuri was going to skate on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov, and hopefully that meant he could finally meet his idol.  
But that also meant he had to perform in front of the entire figure skating world and he wasn’t sure how his anxiety was going to hold up under the pressure. So far it seemed like he was going burst just sitting in this quiet hotel room, thinking about performing his short program tomorrow.

A sharp ringing and rough vibrating pulled him out of his head. Yuuri looked over to where his phone rested on the bed beside him and saw his sister’s contact info on the screen. He sighed and picked up the phone, staring at it for a second before sliding it open and answering.

“Hello?”

“Yuuri.” His sister sounds breathless, upset. It wasn’t a tone he was used to hearing from the ever consistent Mari.

“Mari?” Yuuri’s anxiety rose again, crashing over him as he prepared himself for the worst. 

“It’s… It’s Vicchan. He-” Mari paused, and Yuuri heard her take a crackling deep breath on the other side of the line. “He’s gone.”

Yuuri drowned.

~~~

When he woke up the next morning his eyes were swollen and his hands shaky. Slowly he sat up, fighting the urge to start crying again.

Last night he had stayed up much later than he should have on a night before a skate, but he had kept breaking down every time he thought he had recovered. Mari stayed on the phone with him the whole time, quietly comforting him as he sobbed through the phone. After crying he had felt much better, even his anxiety was less pressing. He had collapsed into his pillow and immediately fallen asleep after he had let his sister go.

Now he had slept off the exhaustion from crying and his anxiety was ready and raring for a fight. Nervously, Yuuri ran his hands through his hair repeatedly until he heard a quiet knock on the other side of the door.

“Yuuri?” his coach called softly. “Can you let me in?”

It was obvious that Mari had called and let him know about Vicchan from how gentle Celestino was being. Yuuri was tempted to refuse and lock himself away from the world to mourn. To bury himself under the covers and remain motionless until he became nothing. Forget the GPF, forget Victor Nikiforov, forget everything. None of it mattered to him now.

But he knew that he would regret not giving himself the chance he had worked so hard for. So he pushed himself up and stumbled to the door, clumsily releasing the lock and pulling it open to reveal his coach, patiently waiting to see his student.

They both stood in silence, Yuuri not wanting to say anything and Celestino knowing he wouldn’t. After a moment, Yuuri’s coach stepped into the room and pulled Yuuri into a tight hug, attempting to comfort him. 

Yuuri, in spite of how hard he fought, burst into tears standing in the open doorway of his hotel room. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He sunk further into Celestino’s arms, needing the comfort but when he opened his eyes, he had to fight the urge to pull away as soon as Celestino’s colors began to blend into his. But his urges won out in the end and found himself stepping back quickly, as if stung. What he needed the least right now was Celestino’s purples and yellows attempting to brighten up his dark world. He wanted to be upset.

But he didn’t have time to.

“I- I’m sorry. I should be ready… I should be…” Yuuri backed away and began rapidly searching his room for his clothing. He began repeating apologies like a mantra, unable to say anything else without completely breaking down. 

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and Celestino turned him around to look him in the eye. “Yuuri. Take a few deep breaths. It is okay to be upset but you need to calm down as much as you can before your skate.”

“Yes s-sir.”

“You made it to the Grand Prix Final already, okay? That’s more than most skaters manage in their lifetime and you still have a few years left in you.” He paused and Yuuri nodded, trying to pull himself out of the pit he had stumbled into. “Yuuri, just try to relax. It will be okay. Okay?”

“Okay,” Yuuri mumbled, feeling like a child.

“Okay,” Celestino repeated, yet again. “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.”

“Okay.” 

Yuuri felt like a broken record.

~~~ 

Yuuri had managed to catch one single glance of Victor Nikiforov after his disastrous short program. The skater had been warming up before his own performance-still a few competitors away-and he was completely lost in his own world. Yuuri stared, entranced by his brilliance that shone even brighter in person. In this moment, the one in which he was swallowed by Victor’s light, he managed to forget the tragedy that was clinging to his back. It hardly mattered that his program was worth so few points there was no way to come back, even with a perfect free skate. Victor was here and Victor was beautiful.

But then Victor began to turn his way and Yuuri was shocked back into reality. He didn’t want to ruin Victor’s light with his darkness. He couldn’t bare the idea of even being seen, especially not after the performance he just gave. He couldn’t even really see Victor in all his color.

He was a disgrace. He didn’t deserve to be on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov.

Yuuri turned and bolted down the hallway, the darkness fully crashing around him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we enter more familiar ground...
> 
> Thank you guys for reading! I really appreciate it!


	2. Whirling

Victor had won, of course. In reality, everyone knew that skaters competing against Victor Nikiforov were only fighting for the spots below him on the podium. They just pretended otherwise.

Yuuri had never tried to live under that fantasy. He wanted to see Victor holding up the gold medal any chance he got. He had just hoped that he would one day stand next to him so he could show him he was worthy of that brilliance that Victor had brought into his life.

Now he felt that he may never have that chance. Maybe it would be easier to just quit.

“Katsuki-kun!”

Yuuri turned to see one of the newscasters that covered the GPF standing behind him looking upset. Renewed shame flooded through him at the thought of having to explain his mistakes to the man. “Newscaster Morooka…”

He was cut off as the newscaster piled on questions that he had been trying to avoid thinking about. He attempted to keep up, answering them as simply and noncommittally as he could when suddenly everything around him brightened.

Shocked, Yuuri froze in place as the colors slowly faded. Someone had brushed by quickly, their hand accidentally touching his exposed wrist. It had almost seemed like… “My soulmate?” Yuuri whispered, pulling up his wrist to stare at the point of contact. 

Morooka paused, curious. “What did you say?”

It shook Yuuri out of his trance and he flipped around to search for who it could be, only to see a large number of people standing around in groups. He continued to scan the room nevertheless, curiosity overwhelming his usual negativity towards the idea. No one seemed to stand out until…

Until he saw Victor Nikiforov distractedly lecturing the young Yuri Plisetsky. The man also seemed to be searching the room for something as he spoke, but if he had been the one to brush past Yuuri, wouldn’t he have stopped? Plus there was no way a man like Victor could be Yuuri’s soulmate. He was bright and beautiful and Yuuri was anything but. Yuuri tried to continue his search, but unsurprisingly found himself unable to look away. It was always hard for him to keep his eyes off Victor, but in person it was even harder. The man was gorgeous.

Victor stopped speaking and the coach he and Yuri shared took over the lecture. He seemed to refocus, continuing his search around the room and pausing only when he noticed Yuuri staring. Slowly he turned to Yuuri, and Yuuri’s heart stopped. He gasped quietly at the attention, unable to decide whether he should be excited that his idol has noticed him or ashamed that he is a disgrace in front of him. But before he does decide, Victor speaks.

“A commemorative photo? Sure.”

It wouldn’t be surprising to Yuuri if everyone in the room could hear his heart shatter. Victor didn’t even recognize him as a failed competitor, certainly not as an equal.

He turned and left the room, humiliated and heartbroken.

~~~

Studying his reflection in the mirror, Yuuri sighed. Dark circles and slightly red rimmed eyes stared back at him. He was wrecked emotionally and honestly wanted to do anything but go to this banquet. It wasn’t like he had a choice though, it had been reiterated to him enough times that this banquet wasn’t for his enjoyment, but for him to meet and hopefully acquire sponsors as well as to socialize with the other skaters.

He just wished he was allowed to wear his gloves, but some considered it impolite to hide your colors in case you met your soulmate unexpectedly so Celestino had forbade them. 

There was a knock on the door, signaling to Yuuri that Celestino was out waiting for him. He tugged his jacket sleeve and headed out the door to follow his coach. As they walked, Celestino went over what was expected for the ten thousandth time while Yuuri nodded his understanding in all the right places. He nervously continued to tug on his sleeves repeatedly in a useless attempt to pull them further down over his hands until he heard his coach pause. 

He looked up and met Celestino’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I’ll do most of the talking, just try to look like you’re actually there with us.”

Yuuri nodded, only just noticing that they had arrived at the banquet. His coach searched his face briefly before nodding and heading into the banquet room, Yuuri following closely on his heels. 

The night passed at a snail's pace, every conversation long and endlessly boring. True to his word, Celestino asked very little of Yuuri, but this left the skater unable to do anything but nod and try to keep from pulling on his sleeves. Instead he fidgeted in place, anxious to leave each conversation but knowing that as soon as they did he would be dragged into another one where he would be forced to shake another hand and be flooded with their colors. It became obvious even to Yuuri that Celestino was trying to hide his frustration at his fidgeting student and as one potential sponsor walked away, he turned to Yuuri. 

“Take a break,” he sighed. “Come back when you feel better.”

“But…” Yuuri said. “What will you tell the sponsors?”

“I’ll figure something out. Please just… go grab some champagne or food or something. Try to loosen up and at least pretend that you’re enjoying yourself.” He turned and walked away, leaving Yuuri with a protest dying in his throat.

Unsure of what to do, Yuuri slowly took in the room. Christophe Giacometti, the winner of the silver medal, was smiling brightly at some fawning girls. The third place winner, Jean Jacques-JJ-Leroy confidently declared his future win, his voice echoing around the room and Michele Crispino, the skater who had placed ahead of Yuuri, stood close to his sister Sara, glaring at any man that even looked her way. And lastly, across the way he spotted Victor chatting animatedly with a group of people, obviously drawing them in with his charms. He really was the opposite of Yuuri.

“What am I doing here?” Yuuri muttered to himself. “I don’t belong in a room with these people.”

“You’re right, pig.”

Yuuri swung around to meet the eye of Yuri Plisetsky. The boy had his arms crossed angrily across his chest and a glare contorting his face. He opened his mouth to say more, only to hear his name called from across the room. Both he and Yuuri turned to see Victor waving him over, their coach standing beside him with a glare to rival Yuri’s own.

Yuri growled and shoved past Yuuri, making his way over to his coach but making it known that he wasn’t happy about it. 

The whole interaction left Yuuri shellshocked and even more anxious, so he made his way towards a waiter holding a tray of champagne glasses, hoping the alcohol would calm his nerves just as his coach had suggested. After claiming his glass, he made his way towards a quiet corner and sipped the drink cautiously, knowing how he reacted to alcohol. In spite of this, he soon had downed the whole glass and was beginning to feel better. When a waiter came around, he found himself grabbing and quickly downing more than a few more glasses and any thoughts of panic faded away. He managed to amass fifteen or so glasses before he stumbled back out into the crowd.

The last thing he remembers is hating the feeling of his clothing and tugging at his tie to pull it loose.

~~~

“Yuuri, you can’t quit now,” Phichit cried, hanging from the top bunk to look down at Yuuri. When he received no response he disappeared only to reappear climbing down the ladder and onto Yuuri’s bed, moving to sit cross-legged in front of the other boy who sat typing on his computer and resolutely ignoring Phichit’s comment. The two sat in silence, Yuuri’s keyboard-that they both knew he wasn’t actually using-the only sound.

“Yuuri.”

He was met with further silence and only a slight glance his way.

“Yuuri, come on. Talk to me.”

This time there was a wavering glare.

“Please. I need to know why my best friend wants to leave the sport he worked his entire life to be a part of.”

Sighing, Yuuri closed the computer. “I’m pretty sure that part is obvious.”

“No, your surface reasoning is obvious. Something more happened and I want to know what.” 

“Phichit…” Yuuri warned, wanting to talk about what went down but also wanting to do anything but.

“Yuuri…” Phichit prompted, already settling for the long haul. “It seems you want to quit because of your crushing defeat at the GPF-”

“Wow that makes me feel better.”

“Yuuri you know that’s not what I meant. We both know that just being in the GPF is an incredible achievement and the fact that you were in last is not destructive to your career to anyone but you. But that isn’t my point. What I was going to say was that while that may be the main reason you want to leave skating, there is another reason that you are upset.” He paused, watching Yuuri react. “Come on, Yuuri. Talking helps.”

After a long pause, Yuuri sighed. “Okay yes, there is something else. A few something elses.”

“Okay… And?”

He took a deep breath. “I met Victor. Well honestly ‘met’ is only somewhat the correct description. More like Victor talked at me and I walked away.”

“Yuuri, WHAT?” Phichit stared at him in shock, obviously looking for the right thing to say to politely question his friend’s sanity. “You did WHAT?”

“Okay, okay. Just… Let me explain, okay?”

“Yeah, I think I need you to explain why you just walked away from the man you have been talking about ever since I met you,” Phichit said with exasperation. 

“Phichit I have not… This isn’t even a part of it. Here, I’m just going to tell you the whole story.”

“Okay.”

“It was after the Final. Newscaster Morooka came up to me and started asking me questions about my future in skating and while I know he was just trying to be encouraging, it still upset me. But while he was talking someone brushed past me and suddenly I saw… everything. There wasn’t any blank in the color spectrum. It was incredible and beautiful but...Then they were gone.”

Phichit gasped quietly. “Yuuri, you met your soulmate? But I thought you said you met Victor?” He paused, then clapped excitedly. “Yuuri, is Victor your soul-”

“No!” 

Phichit stopped, shocked by the forcefulness of Yuuri’s voice. “Yuuri?”

“He isn’t my soulmate. I met him but there is no way he’s it.” Phichit didn’t say anything, silently prompting Yuuri to continue and promising that he would remain quiet this time. Yuuri took another deep breath, trying to completely calm himself down again before continuing. “I was shocked at first but then quickly turned around to look for them, hoping they had stopped or at least started looking around like I did after they noticed… Phichit, it was different than normal color sharing. It feels brighter, more lively. There is no way they didn’t notice they brushed by their soulmate… by me. But I kept looking in spite of the growing fear that maybe when they noticed it was me they had only kept moving, preferring to be with someone better. Someone who didn’t crash and burn. I never saw anyone looking around except Victor. He met my eye and turned around. I got so excited. But he just-” Yuuri broke off, gulping. Phichit still remained silent but he crawled further up the bed so he sat beside Yuuri before turning and hugging him. 

“What did he do, Yuuri? Do I need to kick his ass?” Phichit spoke carefully and quietly, joking but still making sure Yuuri knew he was listening and supporting him. 

Yuuri laughed quietly in response. “It’s kind of silly. I’m sure I’m just overreacting and I’ll look back at this and laugh.”

“Yuuri, no. If you’re upset it isn’t silly, no matter what you may think in the future. It matters to you now and it matters to me.”

The two sat in silence as Yuuri processed what to say. After a few moments, he spoke again. “He didn’t recognize me as a competitor, Phichit. He turned to me and asked me if I wanted a photo like I was another fan, which I am but… I always wanted to be seen as an equal to him. Now I’m just… nothing.”

Phichit roughly pulled away from Yuuri, turning to look him in the eye. “You are never nothing, Yuuri. No matter what that asshat Victor Nikiforov says or does. He’s not worth any more than you because he’s a celebrity, and apparently he isn’t even a competitor that bothers to pay attention to his competition. It seems to me that Victor Nikiforov needs a reality check. Because Yuuri, you’re amazing. You really are an incredible skater, no matter how bad you did in the recent competitions, but that’s not even what matters. What matters is that you’re a great person and a great friend. Whoever your soulmate is messed up big time by not stopping to claim you right then, okay?” 

“Okay…”

“You need to know that I support you in any decision you make. If you feel no motivation to skate, don’t. But don’t quit because of one incident. Victor may just be bad with faces, or maybe he has a terrible memory. You never know. Don’t let him making a mistake ruin your life.”

Yuuri nodded, a small smile on his face. “Thank you, Phichit. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He paused, thinking. “Can I tell you something else that is kind of related but kind of not?”

“Of course, Yuuri.”

“I uh. I don’t really remember the banquet. But I think… I think I met my soulmate there. All I can remember is color. There’s no face, no name, just a bright feeling and whirling colors.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter is a little late, I am definitely going to try to post a new chapter every week. Let's keep this going!
> 
> Next chapter: The meeting we've all been waiting for...


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